In Horto Astribus Amabo, Ambulabo

Hello.

It has come to my attention that it is another time of change.
I will no longer be using this livejournal.

I will probably get another in enough time, once I know how I am changing.

But for now, I bid you adieu.

I love you all.

--Kia (Lauren)

If you wish to contact me, my MSN is lasphodelius@hotmail.com and i also receive emails at laurenlarsen@trentu.ca

well, i can't believe its nearly halloween.

everything has been suprising me lately. i've been having excellent feelings, even though i do not understand them.

i'm in toronto for a few days of the reading week. i'll be in ottawa for a while, and then back in peteboro.

how things are changing. how i am changing. i like change. its exciting, but a little bit scary at times.

i'm hungry.

my cat likes snuggling so much its as if he's making love with you.

its hilarious.

the world is so big.
and is getting bigger.
and more chaotic.

we learned about carrying capacities the other day...

as challenging as they are, i enjoy stratigraphy assignments.

i also really enjoy "my humps" by the black eyed peas.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1431038195362274085


HAHAA!!!

i had a dream last night which pretty much settled my brain. it is weird how that can happen so abruptly. there is a friendly spirit around that is helping me. he guided me to that dream.

i am happy today. it feels like a new start for me. i'm not any good at doing things for myself, but that's changing. i feel free. liberated. and i didnt even know that i was trapped to begin with.

astrology keeps coming up.

i am trying to understand the signs of the octopus.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEISTER CROWLEY!!!


...You'd be a ripe old age of 132 if you were alive!

These are the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing's users. As usual, bold what you have read, italicize those you started but couldn't/didn't finish, and strike through what you couldn't stand. Add an asterisk* to those you've read more than once. Underline those on your to-read list.

The Silmarillion
Frankenstein
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
1984
Angels & Demons
Dune
The Prince
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Mists of Avalon
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an Inquiry into Values
The Hobbit
Treasure Island
The Three Musketeers
Neverwhere
Strange & Mr Norrell
The Odyssey
American Gods
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World*
The Fountainhead
Foucault's Pendulum
Middlemarch
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange*
Anansi Boys
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver's Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
The Sound and the Fury
Angela's Ashes : A Memoir
The God of Small Things
A People's History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye*
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity's Rainbow
White Teeth
David Copperfield

Well, yet again I have woken up after four or so hours of sleep, and then been unable to get back to sleep again. This has been happening a lot lately. At least I am sure why...I have never had more on my mind now, except when I was 16, and thats the only other time that I've had this sort of problem recurring.

And I mean LOTS on my mind....everything...the global situation politically, emotions, seasonal changes, halloween, my birthday, the economy, my relationship, my life after university, my identity, ethics, my parents, dietary preferences, clothing styles, the nature of the universe, sex, the environment, the apocalypse, art, history, friendships that i have/dont have, decisions, school, humans, evolution, the stone age, magick, music, etc....

Thinking about so much isnt actually bothering me...Sometimes its not good to be thinking so much. I havent made any conclusions due to my thinking, and my brain feels well-exercised from it...

...I just wish it wouldn't do it in the middle of the night

HOLY BABALON-FUCKING CRAZY-TALK:

THE GREENHOUSE GASES THAT ARE IN THE ATMOSPHERE RIGHT NOW ARE WHERE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN TEN YEARS TIME IN THE MEDIAN PROJECTION (I ASSUME), BUT INSTEAD THEY ARE BEYOND THE WORST CASE SCENARIO THAT WAS PROJECTED IN 2001. OH MY THERION.

STORY: http://www.thestar.com/News/World/article/264903

Sorry for the caps.

It's just as I thought. Worse than we thought...

Some sort of surfing facility wanted me to be on their team, but I obviously sucked so they sent me back to toronto, where I had to enroll at my old high school. And they were teaching me about all these things that I already knew. my favourite teacher had turned south-east-asian. I decided to screw this and skipped all my classes. this girl who thought i was cool kept asking me why i skipped and i kept telling her that university was so much better. then i ran into nirav from ocad and we gave each other a HUGE hug.

then I woke up.

there was more, but i couldnt recall.

There were strange devices coming forth from my eyes that made it easier for me to see most things that were going on. There were bugs everywhere and I was fairly determined to stop them. Lasers shot forth from my eyes, but one centipede was missed and proceeded to climb up my arm. Wary of shooting a laser in the direction of my arm, I tried to shake the 6-inch centipede off, but to no avail...Instead I woke up in a sweat.

Upon returning to sleep, I found myself on my scooter exploring an old factory city, much like Manchester. There were dozens of abandoned warehouses and workshops and I drove into all of them seeing what was about. Then a woman stepped out of one and explained to me that it used to be a Montessori school, to which I replied that it didn't appear so. But then these ghostly children came out of the building as well and began to tell me the things they had learned there. But they all had strange injuries and looked like they were dying. I got back on my scooter and sped away quickly, as it did not seem safe there. The woman began running after me, but I just drove faster. Eventually I came to a run-down theatre, and inside, there was a play running through a rehearsal. My high school drama teacher was the director and she came over to me and asked me where I had been and what had taken so long and why I was not in costume yet. I had no idea what was going on, but I thought it would be a good idea to go get into costume. i went backstage and put on a very old Chinese gown. I went to a script and discovered that I was playing the part of a blender that comes to life and liberates all of the appliances by telling them cooking secrets so that they can become their own chefs of themselves.

I woke up again, but eventually fell back asleep where I found myself in a beautiful dance room in a mansion. I couldnt see anyones faces, but there was a marshmallow-smelling gentleman who was my date, or so it seemed. No one could speak, as no one had any mouth, but the gentleman was an excellent dancer and was very courteous (pulled out my chair for me, opened doors, touched my face in nice ways). Then we proceeded to go upstairs in this mansion and we ended up having very primal and unabashed sex.

I woke up again, and then fell back to sleep, where I found myself in a meadow, picking flowers, talking to faeries and looking at clouds until I woke up finally, for real, this morning.

IN-TENSE.

I stand by you, through all the ages that I might be alive. You are my shining love, and without you, I cannot see clearly. All that is in my life is there for you to share. All that happens to me, to you, to us, is something that I want. Good or bad. You uplift me and you sustain me. Your heart is a thing that I want to open, that I want to explode. So that you may feel only love, the strength of love that I feel. The invincible strength that is solid throughout human history, as well as our own.

You need to know that there is nothing else in the world that is more lovely than you. That waking up, and knowing that you are in my life is a calming effect to the chaos of this planet. That our companionship is something that is chaos turned into order and vice versa is only something that we have touched the surface of...and for this, as well as so many other unexplored paths, I am excited for our future.

I want to have your child(ren). I want to share the rest of my life with you, every part of it. I want to grow into a strong human being, and I want you to grow with me. I want us to define ourselves each as a half of one whole. No matter what is thrown at us, internally, externally, there is no other person that this matters with. You are my ONE. I have had many loves, I fall in love rather easily, but all are weighed against you: you are my definition of love, and have always been from even before I knew you.

You have little demons within you that poke you and hurt you, and I will evict them. Why? because you need to feel no pain. From anything. All of us have an ability to transmute the raw hurt and sadness into pure light and joy, and I want to help you do that.

You and I cannot be broken. We will forever be like diamonds.

For the first five people that reply to me and re-post this challenge - I will send you something groovy.

It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash of fabulousity, it might be a mix CD - or a rubber duck, a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome.

Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or less. (I will need your snail mail if you're not local).

The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first five to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR live journal - cause its fun to give people stuff.

Today I made a very important discovery in my understanding of my life. I have quite a passion for humans, where they came from, who they are, and where they are going. As a result, I have a deep respect and reverence for the planet earth as it has housed humanity for as long as we have been here, and hopefully, will continue to nurture us. My discovery was this: biological anthropology, which I am taking at school, is something I would like to go further into. While at first, I thought that I would like to get into the environment or archeology, it seems that I will be delving into understanding human evolution. I will continue to view it from a perspective of the environment, as that is what shapes our evolution, but no longer am I really confused as to what I want to do with myself. I greatly want to know how we are evolving, and how we can speed up our evolution by understanding early human evolution.

Now, I have to go pick up my dinner.

radio show was fantastic. so was the after party...so is life!!! ROCK ON! :P

I really do not want humanity to destroy the planet...
It would make me dreadfully sad.

I see us going in fantastic directions save that we dont die out.

Phyisical anthropology, archaeology and the environment which I am studying has made me quite on edge about this situation...

We are subject to natures laws, and therefore selection. We are but passing moments in the record of human history, which barely goes back 100,000 years. For more than 99% of that 100 millennia, the earth has supplied us with so much bounty--in fact has given us all that we have. But in quick advancement, we have abused it, and in doing so make our environment, which reacts to all those lovely Darwinian laws could possibly wipe us out.

I certainly desire to see my genes continue on towards evolution, not extinction.

We are going to face very difficult times.

http://www.thestar.com/Business/article/261680

WOW.

Our dollar closed above the American.
Let's hope it keeps going this way, so I can cheaply go on a US vacation!!

i was once a black hole,
in which nothing came through but chaos,
and now i am still the daughter of chaos,
and still a black hole,
but now i can see the possibilities of all existence.

the formations are quite clearer now,
that there is no way to see who we all soon will be,
but that we can be found by anything at all,
that we are forming radicals of energy,
my human existence shaped by love and separate moldings.

ah, sweet apple. sweet sky of life,
and the love that is around me and through me,
there is nothing else but, but waves of the current,
that will bring us tomorrow, i feel fit for my destiny,
and perfect for what is required of me.

i would not change anything.

two or more becoming one, no:
two or more becoming none.